If you’re coaching a team or working with a group of kids at church or wherever, having “good kids” is a great start, but the work isn’t over yet.

Even “good kids” need guidance when it comes to becoming leaders. Some kids are just naturally good at it, but most need help. What they think of as good leadership might be way off. If it were perfect, we wouldn’t need all those conversations with players, parents, and teams.

So what can we teach kids? 

First, it’s totally fine to be a bit selfish about what you want from your team. That means speaking up for what kind of team you want to be a part of. If they want a fun team, show them what that looks like. If there’s drama, help them figure out how to address it. Let them know it’s okay to want a team full of dedicated players who are ready to work hard and win. If they’ll be part of a team for a while, they should know how to protect it from the issues everyone would rather avoid.

Second, help kids understand how to lead through their body language and actions. Show them what it means to show up on time and why that matters to their teammates. Teach them time management strategies that benefit the whole group. We always said, “if you’re 15 minutes early, you’re late.” We wanted practices to start on time, and a little early prep helped us do that. Plus, this goes beyond sports—when they grow up, they’ll need to show up on time for jobs, interviews, and appointments. It’s a life lesson as much as a leadership one. Help them understand that their body language says a lot about how they’re feeling. Their posture, expressions, and even how they walk can give away their emotions. It’s natural to feel frustrated, but they need to learn how to respond to that and see how it affects those around them. Seizing those teachable moments is key.

Third, encourage kids to share their views and ideas. This makes them feel like they actually belong to the program or club. Throughout my coaching years, I realized that asking players what they think or what’s happening helps me see things I might miss. They know what’s going on, so being open to their suggestions and ideas lets them take on some leadership and work together with their teammates and coaches.

Fourth, don’t be afraid to step away from the usual routine and switch things up. We tried reading books with our team and discussing leadership and general team opinions. Those conversations created awesome discussions that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

Here are the books we used:

– The Twin Thieves

– Chop Wood Carry Water

Lastly, remember that good kids will mess up sometimes, and as leaders, it’s our job to help them through that. Even the best adult leaders mess up—it’s part of being human. We’re all learning every day about how to lead, so we should do the same with our players, employees, students, and so on. They’ll make small mistakes and sometimes big ones, but our goal is to be there for them and guide them through the learning process.

Checkout The Coach’s Praybook: A 40-Day Guide To Lifting Up Your Team in Prayer on Amazon and make sure you read the latest blog from Kevin Vanderwal here!