Being a sports parent is a unique world to navigate.

It involves balancing a delicate dichotomy. On one hand, you want your child to be the best they can be, to win, and to succeed. You want them on a great team, with great coaches, and practicing with 100% effort every time.

On the other hand, you understand that this is their journey, not yours. You know you can’t force them to practice, and that the lessons they’re learning—especially about commitment—are vital. So, you quietly step back and allow the process to unfold.

When you’re a sports parent, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. It’s your child’s experience, not yours

Allow your child to have a great experience, but remember, that doesn’t always mean the experience will be full of wins. Instead, it might be rich with life lessons. They are learning what it means to be a team player and what that looks like in different situations. Regardless of their age, this is an ongoing process because team dynamics are always changing. Every time they join a new team, they encounter new relationships and roles to balance. Maybe they’re no longer the starter, but a valuable role player. Maybe an injury means they have to support their teammates rather than score. Or perhaps there’s a constant competition for one position. These are all normal dynamics that kids need to navigate. The emotions they experience, the friendships that are tested, and the leadership that emerges through these situations are part of their growth as players.

2. Don’t ruin the ‘car ride home’

When your child gets in the car after the game, there should be three simple questions to ask—and that’s it:

Did you get better today?

Were you a great teammate?

Did you have fun?

Once you’ve asked those, move on. Kids are excited to have you there supporting them, but they don’t need you to be their coach. After a long day of school and a game, they don’t want more feedback—they want your support. If the game didn’t go well, the last thing they need is to discuss it right away. They have coaches who will help them with adjustments at practice, so let that feedback happen there.

3. Be a good role model

How you speak about the coach, players, referees, trainers, strength coach, the school, the club, and the program as a whole really matters. The tone of these conversations can significantly shape the players’ perspective on what’s happening. It’s important to ensure that you’re influencing them in a positive way. While it’s natural to want to have certain discussions when the players aren’t around, be mindful that when they are present, you set a positive example. Be a role model for the values the team stands for and what the team should represent. This isn’t always easy, but as a parent, the direction and tone of conversations about the team should be consistently positive and constructive.

4. Make memories

Have fun with it—after all, that’s why families and kids join teams in the first place. Make the most of the experience by laughing often, smiling frequently, and letting the little things go. Enjoy the season, because it passes by quickly. In the end, it’s the memories that will last, not the wins or losses. At the conclusion of the season, kids might say, “Thank goodness that’s over” or “I’m really going to miss this.” Strive to be the reason they say the latter.

Be a Sports Parent your child can be proud of.

Checkout The Coach’s Praybook: A 40-Day Guide To Lifting Up Your Team in Prayer on Amazon and make sure you read the latest blog from Kevin Vanderwal here!